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Caregiving Criticism and Unsolicited Advice From Family - AARP

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How to Handle Criticism While Caregiving

Well-meaning advisers try to help but some can cause hurt


by Barry J. Jacobs, PsyD., AARP, December 29, 2014




Take it from whence it comes


Caregivers would be well-advised (there's that word again) to not

just react to the message being given but to consider the background and

intentions of the messenger. Advisers often have a sincere desire to

help, because they truly are caring and invested. They just don't have

enough information and understanding to know how to actually be helpful.

They are also unaware that their good ideas may come across as

critical. If you express appreciation for their caring, they will

usually feel satisfied that they are making a difference and stop

pressing specific recommendations.





Some people, though, use pieces of advice as thinly veiled barbs. Out

of competitiveness or their own misery, they consciously or

unconsciously mean to take caregivers down a peg. They should be kept at

arm's length. It is seldom worth debating them or giving them the

satisfaction of having caused hurt.



 Caregiving Criticism and Unsolicited Advice From Family - AARP